Book 1, Post 2: Love Loss and What We Ate by Padma Lakshmi

“Love, Loss, and What We Ate”, by Padma Lakshmi,

While I haven’t fully finished reading the memoir “Love, Loss, and What We Ate”, by Padma Lakshmi, the majority that I have read so far has been interesting, to say the least. I chose this book because Padma and I come from similar Indian backgrounds, with the difference that Padma was born in Chennai, in South India, and me being born in the US, and my family is from Pune (near New Delhi) in North India. Padma Lakshmi, model, actor, tv host, wife, lover, daughter of immigrants, and mother, was extremely candid and vulnerable in her memoir. While reading this book, I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. Overall, I enjoyed this book but I am critical of some parts. While I found myself often relating to her experiences as a South Asian, intrigued by her modeling and acting career, I frequently experienced frustration with her decisions in her romantic relationships and outlook on her seemingly thriving modeling career. 

The Good: 

One thing I particularly enjoyed about this memoir was reading about Padma’s experiences growing up as a South Asian in the United States and her vivid descriptions of her cooking, particularly of Indian food. I could relate to a lot of what she covered as many of our experiences overlapped, particularly those where she described her experiences with the extreme diversity of living in both Southern California and New York, as well as the embarrassment of our given names, as she went by “Angelique” instead of Padma at school, and I would hate when my parents would call my name in front of my friends– yelling “Tharra” in their Indian accident instead of  “Tahra” as Americans might say. 

I also enjoyed all the themes of food and her love for cooking, which came up throughout the book, with 10s of recipes dispersed throughout the book whenever a specific dish was mentioned. I don’t see myself making homemade yogurt anytime soon, but after reading her vivid description of the sounds, smells, and tastes of other traditional Indian recipes and feeling of nostalgia when describing dishes that my own mother and grandmother cooked for me as a child, I do feel somewhat compelled to return to the book to make the Kumquat chutney, if I ever get my hands on the ingredients. 

The Bad:

I was excited to read about her career as a model, chef, and actor, which was filled with opportunities that some girls dream of, I was disappointed in how she valued the opportunities she was given, often recounting feelings of boredom for modeling and resentment towards being a judge on top chef because of her weight gain, referring to this role on the show as a “pact with the devil”. 

I thought her experiences in Europe were exciting since I didn't have a chance to study abroad during my time at USC; however, the way she seemingly valued her modeling career, being confronted with the harsh realities of the industry, was slightly dissatisfying since she acted naive to what she signed up for. 

The Ugly: 

This naivety continued as a theme throughout her book, mostly coming up in the recounts of her romantic relationships. As mentioned in my previous blog post, the book starts with her tumultuous marriage with famous author Salman Rushdie. They were madly in love, or at least she was; however, it soon became clear that the challenges and unmet expectations of both parties, given her medical condition, made it difficult to fulfill the biological “needs” of her husband and her developing career as a TV show host that her husband made clear that he disapproved of. 

I noticed misogynistic themes throughout these first few chapters, in that she felt insecure when Rushdie’s fellow accomplished authors would attend dinner parties, but since she felt that she had nothing to offer or contribute to the conversation, she would stay in the kitchen until their conversations were over for the night. It also showed her extreme naivety in her pursuit of romantic partners with Rushdie and also two additional romances with Rick Schwartz and Teddy Forstmand, who she dated at the same time, in that she didn’t see all the red flags in the beginning. *Spoiler Alert*: She divorces Rushdie and ends up having an unplanned pregnancy with one of her suitors. 

Reflections:

My takeaway from what I have read so far is that Padma is naive, although she retrospectively experiences some insights and engages in candid reflections. She also seems ungrateful for the opportunities given to her, complaining that she wants to be taken seriously and more than just a pretty face, however doesn't value the opportunities that her modeling career afforded her. I also felt that the writing was “overcooked,” no pun intended, in that her recounts of her childhood seemed overindulged, and I often found myself wondering whether or not a ghostwriter was actually behind this memoir. 

I would recommend this book to certain individuals, specifically to South Asians who can relate to her story as a South Indian growing up in the US and to those who could learn from the lessons of her relationships. I also believe anyone who reads this book will gain a lot of insight into the South Asian experience since her vivid imagery of living in India and cooking traditional dishes is enough for anyone to understand the complexities of these experiences. 

Hopefully, when I finish this book, I will get some closure on her full life story, but so far I left off in one of her many recounts of her childhood. Overall, I would rate this book a 6/10.